Going With The Flow

I am working on a new Website that needs a lot of typing and data input. I understand why people pay other people to do this sort of thing. It's a bore but once it's done it should bring in a regular source of income, which is the aim here.

I have had no feedback about www.parentingseeds.com so everyone must think it is brilliant and perfect the way it is. Andy was not so complementary as I had to replace most of it due to spelling errors and did a whole page on Breast Feeding Men - yes you read that right men can do it too!! 

Think On This.... 

The Hot Water Bottle
 
One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labour ward; but in spite of all we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to run an incubator).
We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts. One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in.
Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates).
"And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways.
"All right," said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm."
The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with many of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because  her mother had died.
During prayer time, one ten-year old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. "Please, God" she prayed, "send us a water bottle. It'll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon."
While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, "And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?"
As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, "Amen". I just did not believe that God could do this. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from my homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator! Halfway through the afternoon, while I was  teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door!
By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the veranda, was a large twenty-two pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children.
Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a batch of buns for the weekend. Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the.....could it really be?
I grasped it and pulled it out - yes, a brand-new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, "If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly too!"                                                              
Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted!
Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that God really loves her?"
That parcel had been on the way for five whole months. Packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "that afternoon."
"....before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear." (Isaiah 65:24)

This story was written by a doctor who worked in Africa , otherwise the 'Author' is unknown

Andy's Joke Of The Week

You Can't Beat Technology

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said,
"Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs .00.

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the .00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labour. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the .00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its lights, and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with antifungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better.

Hypnotherapy, NLP & Life Coaching

Its that time again...

 
So you have had another week of  noticing how you are getting what you planned for.
 
Have you noticed that wonderful condition where you attribute good things to your own planning and bad things to life doing it's thing?
 
Have you started to notice that negative goals happen just as you picture them in the same way as positive goals?
 
I wonder when you'll also start to notice that the greater the emotional energy around a goal, the quicker it becomes reality?
 
Sadly, most of us are far better at getting our emotional energy levels high when attempting to avoid a negative wish than we are around stating a positive goal?
 
Think about it...how much energy do you put into your 'wish list' compared to reacting to something unwanted in our daily lives?
 
If you are a commuter, how often do you do the 'yippee' dance when the traffic flows smoothly and how often do you get all hot and bothered and irritable when the traffic stops?
 
Be honest...I'll bet virtually none of you do the 'yippee' dance and most of you do the 'Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' at traffic.
 
What happens is your unconscious mind sees you form a picture of you being stuck in traffic and a huge amount of fuel (emotional energy) to bring that picture into your daily life.  The result? You get to be in more and more traffic jams.
 
Many years ago when I was living in London , my commute was about 70 minutes to travel 8 miles (12 Km). I bought myself a very comfortable car with an excellent stereo. I made the decision that since I could not remove the other cars I would accept them and instead of getting stressed about the traffic. I would use the time as personal unwind time before getting home to whatever had to be dealt with there.
 
Something very odd happened. The more I relaxed and chilled out in my car the more gaps opened up in the traffic for me to move into. In fact, my commute soon became about 10-25 minutes, moving freely through gaps in the traffic. It was almost as if the world said "Oi ! This is rush hour for stressed drivers, If you are not going to be stressed you must leave - NOW!" and squeezed me out the traffic like a pip between fingers.
 
Interestingly, when I pretended to be relaxed, it stopped working - no cheating the system to get through the traffic quicker - the desire to get through quicker seemed to be what kept me stuck.
 
Could it be that "I want to get through this quicker" is future tense that translates (as per last week) into "Right now I am moving slower than I desire" and so that is exactly what I got?
 
In truth, we make goals all day long, as Richard Bandler (Inventor of NLP) says "We plan for disappointment, if we didn't we couldn't be disappointed."
 
As one of the other columns says - Think about it!
 
Have a wonderful and attentive week
 
Andy

Kate's Funny Finds....

Why men die first (perfectly logical...)

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a  boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind  and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is  favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ..... it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment. If you keep  quiet ...... it's male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you  don't ...... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without  consulting her ....... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without  consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she  doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If  you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ...... you're a pervert.  If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist..  If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape  ...... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers  ... you're after something (or assumed to be guilty of something). If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If  you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't  ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have  a headache ...... you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ....
you're oversexed.. If you don't ... there must be someone else. 

Why do men die first? Because they want to!

Ahhhh poor guys - I feel so sorry for them.   

"Though we can do this alone, we prefer to have company..."

Sincerely,

Kate & Andy Smulian
Go With The Flow

Going With The Flow

Last night I got www.parentingseeds.com finished and back online. You will find many pictures of the kids. It was great fun. I think all the links work? If you find one that doesn't work please let me know. 

My E book, Breast Feeding For Beginners is published by lulu.com and available for .99 on my website, please buy my book. 

It was such fun to write and create there will be many more on various subjects and themes. It is my goal to someday write stories and wild tales of fantastic worlds and creatures, but for now I will write breast feeding manuals and such.

Think On This.... 

Poetry is was not really my thing...then I read this guys stuff and wow....

I am the Poet.
The painter of words.
The creator of dreams.
With my words I can draw you out of your world
And into mine if I so wish.
Like a sorcerer casting a spell.
With my words I can enter your world.
And create in you dreams of illusion and fantasy.
If I so chose I can take you to the end of time.
Or to the edge of the universe and back in just a few seconds.
All these things I can do with just my words.
But there's one thing I want to do more than anything else.
And that's to show you that place in my heart.
That place I have reserved for you.
To describe it would be like this:
It's a place that's timeless.
A place that's been reserved for you.
Since we were both a twinkle in God's eye.
You're there now....can you feel the warmth
of my love as it surrounds you......
Protecting you from all harm.
Can you feel my heartbeat?

Princeofdreams ©

Kate's Funny Finds....

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9..I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; do you want fries with that?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three Thousand
times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Weston.
29... I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.  
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

Life is too short and friends are too few!

Hypnotherapy, NLP & Life Coaching

Hello and welcome,
 
So last week I set you all a task - for those of you who did not do it you may as well stop reading this column now as it will be irrelevant.
 
For the rest of you, first question is this. How does your list compare to what actually happened?
 
Second question is how many times does the word not (or its contractions as in don't (do not) and won't (will not)) appear in your list?
 
Third Question is did the 'do wants' that happened outnumber the 'do not wants' that happened?
 
Now, write out your goal list for this coming week and when you have finished doing that answer the final question below.
 
Final question. How quickly and easily can you re-write your list removing ALL the occurrences of NOT and having all the images that are created by the words be the same as the words?
 
In other words if you wrote "I don't want to get stuck in traffic" has an image of being stuck in traffic. This could be replaced with "I want to enjoy driving along free flowing roads", or "I want the boss to keep off my back" which gives an image of  the boss on my back, could become "I want the boss to be supportive of me in a way I find motivating".
 
Get the idea?
 
Great. The more time you put into this now the better your week will be.

Until Next Week

Be Wonderful 

Andy

Andy's Joke Of The Week

ITS DARK IN HERE
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he was in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Don't you start that nonsense in here," the priest says.

"Though we can do this alone, we prefer to have company..."

Sincerely,

Kate & Andy Smulian
Go With The Flow